Monday, November 17, 2008

"Get busy livin, or get busy dying."
(Shawshank Redemption)



It seems I'm in mid-life crisis mode this week.  I'm not sad or depressed, just filled with introspection and questions for myself.  On Sunday I added my age together and realized that I very well could be half-way there.  To the grave, I mean.  And should I make it to 76 having lived a healthy and happy life, I won't feel gipped at all.  I vividly remember going into 10th grade and thinking, "Gosh, middle school was SO fun I could die right now and be content."  Then I recall thinking the same exact thing at the height of college bliss and then again when I was teaching high school and loving it.  I haven't thought it since, though.  Now it's more like, "Oh, please don't let me die...I've got kids!"  But I digress.  

As I creep closer and closer to forty I can't help but think of all the things I have never done that I wanted to do.  Not that life ends at forty, but yes, some dreams do die.  I no longer think I will be some back-up singer in an awesome band or that I'll get discovered on the street for who knows what.  But what about all the ambitions I've stuffed in my bedside drawer, and the dreams saved in my draft box--just waiting to be opened and began?  The pricking thoughts that sit and stew, and go unrealized year after year.  When on earth will I find the courage and determination to act on those?  This is the question I am asking myself these days.  I did, however, go out today and get my hair straightened at a Dominican Salon.  "You're not getting any younger" I thought last Friday and made the appointment.  So...maybe by feeling the pressure of mid-life looming, I am becoming more pro-active.  One can hope.

So yes, as I type this, I glance across the room and into the mirror and see a girl with very straight hair and a fresh cut staring back. I think that counts for something.

1.  Make a change with hair.

CHECK.

2,000 to go. 


Don't part with your illusions.  When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live.  -- Mark Twain


14 comments:

Jayne Layne said...

Did you REALLY straighten your hair? Like permenanetly (sp) straighten it? And why aren't you sharing a picture?

Ann Marie said...

Lots of people having these "Deep Thoughts" lately.
I myself selfishly think " I can't die... I havent been anywhere East of Colorado..." Pretty sad, but I did once want to be a flight attendant just so I could travel the world. Now that I have a young family, traveling plans continue to be put off, and I hope oneday that I will be able to see many places that I have always dreamed of going...

Anyways.. Yes.. Where are the pictures of the hair? I wanna see!

Lauralee said...

where's the picture??? :)
I love dreaming.. I have a lot.. and right now it feels good to be working on one.. school.

look forward to seeing the picture.. of your hair~ I bet you could shave your head and you'd still be beautiful!

Jek said...

With that hair you may just get discovered on the street. I dont believe what you said on my answering machine by the way! WHy does everything now revolve around "don't let me die, i have kids" a constant thought for me..

Remember the bike ride.

Elisa said...

I want to see a picture of the hair!
I have crisis feelings at least bi-yearly no matter what age I am. I honestly don't know what I want...and then I wonder if I am afraid of not getting what I want so I don't WANT to think about it...or maybe I have what I want and don't know it? I am pretty messed up, but generally a happy person.

on a different note. Is the ranch your family owns like a summer camp for families or just for kids? Where could I find information about it?

careymc said...

Amazing post, Jennifer. You and I are having the same kind of week. Too bad you aren't closer & we could discuss over lunch. :) Great thoughts, great quote.

Ligia said...

First of all, haven't you heard that forty is the new twenty? That means that you can totally get all these things on your dream checklist done. You still got plenty of time :o) Secondly, like everyone else's request...picture! Picture! Picture!

VEGAS VIC said...

Are you kidding me? What is it like? You have to post a picture. We can't wait until Feb. to see it. That is neat that you went to a Dominican salon. Where was it?
Have a mild mid-life crisis, that is acceptable. I don't want to have to come get you out of jail.

MOM

Tiff said...

But I LOVE your crazy hair!

CrazeeAngee said...

You don't have crazy hair.... for all you Jennifro blog fans, the hair looks great. Nice and straight. Jennifro is pretty with curly, "crazy" hair, straight hair (with layers too Vegas Vic!!) and really would be with no hair at all. Just get that room decorated so you can stop with all this mid life crisis nonsense.

Ann Marie, girlfriend, you have got to travel!!! Go with that young family of yours. The grand ole USA has lots to offer.... Just do it!!

Thanks for picking up Gabe and watching Finn. You are a nice, straight haired helper.

JENNIFRO said...

What a bunch of nice folks....geez!

Elisa email me at jennifer@calleva.org

Suzanne said...

Oooohhhh! I am imagining you with straight hair!! How cool would that look on you! My VT companion is from Puerto Rico and she has curly hair. When she staightens it, she looks like Cher because those curls relax and the length comes in! I have come to the conclusion that you are evil for telling us about your straight hair and not even a pic for the mother? Very sly! Very sly!

Mid life crisis, huh? You have lived such a full life, I am curious what your list would look like. I say "Open the gate and seize the day!" Go get em girl!! I don't know what is next on your list, but do it soon. Not because you are getting older every day of your life, but because once you have crossed off everything on your list, you can make another list and live a fuller life. Life is good, live it to the fullest measure of love, service and kindness! -Suzanne

partii said...

I feel like I'm married to a different woman, but w/ the same midlife issues....wait ... I'm the one turning 40 in a few months!

browneyedgirl said...

Where's the pic??