"Forty is the old age of youth,

fifty the youth of old age."

~Victor Hugo

Well, according to my man, Victor, I've got another decade to play and be young! I thought he was wise in Les Mis, but this quote takes it for sure! Yes, forty has come and gone, and I can't say I'm thrilled with the milestone. I'll never be one of those women you relishes in getting old, but I am coming to terms with it. I think if I had my way, I'd stay 36--I believe that's prime. My kids would be right where I like them, wrinkles on the verge, the body still spry and springy, a newfound inner confidence has emerged... but alas..

So to celebrate, the family threw a little something at the Hansons--just what I wanted. Food, fun, family, friends. Nick gathered letters from those I love, and Anjie compiled it into a memory book for me. Of course that was my favorite gift of all, and will always be something I cherish--the extra good ones will be broadcast at my funeral!

enjoying Rob and Johnny's synchronized swimming

he ain't heavy.. he's my brother

Repent sinners!

we believe!

purple passion

I'm gonna marry that girl!

giddyap!

chicks

game girls

team "cheat"

minute to win it!

sore loser

this feels obscene

ditto

and there she goes!

"Life begins at Forty?"

I'll let you know.

Moon Child

and her 39 things

Flying stream of consciousness-like through another year

left behind...

I use music to enhance my mood every day. I like to feel things to the fullest...happy is Chili Peppers dancing in the kitchen happy; sad is Enya in the earphones.

Never give up. After 38 years, my hair woes changed overnight.

There's finally something to order at McDonalds, it's name is Southwest Salad.

I am for the first time feeling part of my community.

80% of the people I've wondered about for eons materialized before my eyes last December and I am still reeling from the miracle of it all.

I believe cute clothes are everywhere.

I will never tire of reading my zodiac sign. It's bookmarked and every few months I click on it to see if it's "me." I like to imagine the universe and everything in it is synchronized in some miraculous way.

I am described as a Moon Child and although I have no idea what that is, I love the sound of it.

I am also labeled "moody" which of course I don't buy.

I walked into F 21 a few months ago and realized that indeed history repeats itself. It was pure nostalgia studying the mannequins of my youth dressed in bubble skirts, ripped leggings, checked flannel prints and mod hats. For a moment I would've sworn I was in Contempo at the Meadows Mall circa 1988.

Sometimes the issues you feel most passionately about in the night, mean nothing in the morning.

Exercise is my friend.

Loving relationships of all kind are the greatest gifts given by God to us all.

It's okay to change your mind, even when people don't understand.

After 14 years of wearing flip flops in the river I bought a great pair of water shoes.

I miss reading nursery rhyme books on a regular basis. I miss this bad.

When you reach out, unexpected and good things happen.

I decided the best movie experience I have ever had was at BYU's International Cinema seeing "Cinema Paradiso" for the first time. I went with my darling French boyfriend whose eyes brimmed with tears during the final minutes of the film. This caused me to scoot forward in my seat, turn around and look behind me to find a hundred illuminated faces intently fixed on the romantic scene. I'll never forget the light reflecting off their weeping eyes.

I have been reminded this year of how much my parents love me.

It was worth moving every last thing out to get our floors stained dark.

I am thrilled my littlest brother is marrying such a wonderful girl.

Turquoise is my new favorite color.

I have discovered black and white cookies from Vie de France and find I can think of little else late at night.

The "ring" predicts four kids for me. Last year it was five. Even the universe gave up on me apparently.

Do not doubt Nick when he's got vision. I always end up "taking it back."

Bagpipes make me wish for another time and place.

If I were a super hero. I would be a time traveler without question. I would do anything to visit the past. The future doesn't interest me much.

I love finding new songs to obsess with. Vanilla Twilight (Owl City) Never Say Never (The Fray) Hard to Concentrate (RHCP) are my current flavors.

With old friends the roots go deep...can't be easily yanked.

I resist my kids growing up but have to embrace it if I want them to like me.

I bought myself a new wedding ring for my birthday.

Five of us six kids live within two miles. I'll never know how it happened.

I miss my grandparents and their homes just as much as I always thought I would when I was young and imagined them gone.

Spirituality takes effort.

I love lifting weights and feeling stronger... it makes me proud to lift our HEAVY garage doors with ease.

When you need to be "checked" it's those that love you most who do it.

I love texting.

I have my 40th birthday party in my head. I hope it comes to pass.

I am a Cancer; I oppose change, and although I hate the wrinkles around my eyes, I am just beginning to see the wisdom in it all.

My Birthday 100

I love reading "100" posts. My turn.

1. I love being an American; I'm a huge fan of patriotic programs and music.

2. I was born in '70 so it's always been easy to calculate my age.

3. I am the oldest of six kids

4. I have very wonderful parents--two of the best.

5. My two front teeth were out for over a year. The dentist finally slit them with

a razor and they were down the next day.

6. One of my dear friends, Karim, shares my birthday. He's French and we take turns

calling most years. We say, "Happy Birthday and I include, "Happy Bastille Day."

7. I have had big crushes on Joaquin Phoenix and Russell Crowe.

8. I have really long toes. Really long. I can pinch like crazy with them and

clean my room with only my toes if I want.

9. I married a hottie who I sometimes call my "wife" cause he's so domestic.

10. I have really bad calluses on my feet that I used to chew off as a kid.

11. I got married in Vegas but not on the strip. (LDS Temple)

12. I weighed 83 lbs. when I was a junior in H.S. Not a pretty sight.

13. English roses, peonies and lavender are my favorite flowers.

14. Gladiator is one of my top three movies. I love the layers of meaning.

15. I almost always prefer a drama to a comedy.

16. My proudest grade was getting one of two A's in Barta Heiners Acting Class at BYU.

17. I really hate it when people move away. So few people stay put these days.

18. I am very close to all of my brothers and sisters.

19. I love the sound of the vacuum and the blow dryer. I'd sleep to them if

I could.

20. I have Reynaulds Syndrome which means bad circulation in my fingers. They

turn pure white when I'm too cold. I'm told they could fall off it they're white too long.

21. I love fires inside and out; I especially love singing around a campfire.

22. I'm a pretty decent rock climber when I'm practicing.

23. I never played a team sport in school.

24. I made first cuts (out of 500) to the Broadway traveling company of Les Miserables. (great story but very depressing for me)

25. I have been asked "Girl whatchoo mixed wid" at least 20 times in my life.

26. I have over 200 letters from Nick on his mission in Holland (he loved me)

27. I am a very loyal friend but stink at keeping in touch long distance.

28. I hate gum popping, ice crunching, popcorn chomping and any sloppy mouth noise.

29. I live within one mile of five of my best college friends.

30. I have been kissed wetly on the lips by a drunken Englebert Humperdink.

31. My sister Jill has always been my "Ed McMahon" and I love her for it!

32. I love to be tan, but have wised up a lot over the years.

33. I had braces my Senior year of high school.

34. I majored in English Education and taught for two years before I had kids.

35. I live near DC but have little idea of what goes on politically.

36. I think the news is too depressing to watch. I probably only see it once a year.

37. I love uplifting church meetings.

38. I am almost never suprised; I fake surprised when people have tried really hard.

39. I have a very good sixth sense and used to say I had ESP when I was young.

40. I love broadway musicals and would do anything to be in one, but I don't sing

well enough.

41. Les Miserables is the book that made the biggest impact on me as a teenager.

42. I taught early morning seminary at 6 am my entire fourth pregnancy.

43. My legs and pits are almost always stubbly.

44. I got my curls from my dad who got them from his mother.

45. Depeche Mode is my all time favorite band.

46. I miss my grandparents houses in Springville and the one on Torrey Pines. If

I think about it, I can remember how they smell.

47. I am a Cancer-- I oppose change. (true horoscope observation)

48. I am exactly 1/2 blue and 1/2 red in the Color Code book.

49. I am constantly thinking about homeschooling one or more of my kids.

50. I have been to Mexico, England, Italy, Canada and Spain. France is next I hope.

51. I am bossy with my husband but he likes it.

52. I will never get implants--but it'd be nice.

53. I am scared to death of crickets. Fine with other bugs and spiders.

54. I am often sad about places and times I can never go back to.

55. I have a great mother in law.

56. I was the worlds scaredest baby sitter. I used to send the kids to the door in

scary situations.

57. I give lots of compliments and am sincere in giving them.

58. I am not much of a crier.

59. I love the four seasons and look forward to each one before they come.

60. I have two boys and two girls, but I wish I had six kids.

61. I am horrible at directions. More than horrible. Every time I leave a hotel room I

turn the wrong way. I can't read a map and feel like I'm spun in circles even on very

familiar roads.

62. I have a dog named Lucky who has really grown on me.

63. I have a neighbor who hates my family--even though they know they shouldn't.

64. I struggle with swearing.

65. I am pretty funny if I'm with the right people.

66. I am good at impersonations and faking accents.

67. I used to be a very, very good prank caller.

68. I had the best college years of anyone I know.

69. I wish I could sew better.

70. I am always wishing I would discover I am gifted at something.

71. My 10 year old will soon pass me up on the piano.

72. I missed 32 days of school in the 5th grade. I had lots of anxieties and an angel

mother who helped me get normal and stay normal.

73. I am a friend to many. I love my friends past and present and think of them often.

I am still in contact with my friend I met at age two.

74. I consider myself to be pretty outdoorsy, though Nick's brothers would probably laugh to hear that.

75. I love to buy clothes and have new clothes in my closet at all times.

76. I wish I would ever dare to take a risk with my hair. I've always wanted a bob.

77. I would love to skydive and bungee jump but will probably never have the guts

to do either one.

78. I love water and rarely drink anything else.

79. I love ethnic food. I prefer a "hole in the wall" to a chain restaurant any day.

80. I enjoy teenagers and love being around them. I prefer teaching them over toddlers.

81. I like salty more than sweet, most of the time.

82. I would love to write a children's book but fear I am too lazy to do it and too scared of being rejected.

83. I wish I would have minored in interior design. I would love to decorate houses.

84. I am already really sad about my kids growing up.

85. My life would be perfect if all my family were near.

86. I would adopt a baby from another country if it was easy and cheaper.

87. I love that my kids are growing up with camp. I never knew what a summer camp

was--except in Parent Trap.

88. If I could do one year over it would be June 1988-June 1989.

89. I know that most of the happiness in my life is due to my religion.

90. I love living near so much American History, and I wish I took more

advantage of my location.

91. My first car when I was married was a Le Car that Nick's brother gave us. Sweet!

92. I love music but cannot stand it turned on when the kids are crying in the car. (note to Nick)

93. I think I am really persuasive and figure I can usually talk people into doing what

I think they should do. It must be an oldest child thing.

94. I am perfectly content in a very slow movie if it's meaningful and real.

95. I love to fall asleep with ear plugs in my ears but I never do it at home.

96. I am a worrier but have gotten a lot better over the years.

97. I have loved talking on the phone my whole life. One of my best Christmas presents

as a teen was my own phone line. I used to keep Jill up, mad at me, till the wee hours

of morning.

98. The best sleep I've ever had was in the hospital after having Nicholas. They gave me two percocets and I was in and out of sleep delirium for two days.

99. I am a very impulsive shopper and spend money like I am rich. Subliminally, I

must know my limit, because I am never in debt.

100. I have an aversion to certain words. (munch and munchie, being two). I also hate

words spelled wrong on purpose (girlz, krispy kreme, tastee) and...messing around

with the traditional spelling of a person's name.

What did I miss?

Birthday 100

I love reading birthday 100 lists.  My turn.  

 1. I love being an American; I'm a huge fan of patriotic programs and music.

2.   I was born in '70 so it has always been very easy to calculate my age.

3.   I am the oldest of six kids.

4.   I have very wonderful parents--two of the best, I believe.

5.   My two front teeth were out for over a year.  The dentist finally slit them 

with a razor in fourth grade; they were down the next day.

6.   One of my dearest friends shares my birthday.  He is French and is name is Karim. We

take turns calling most years.  We say, "Happy Birthday" and I include, "Happy Bastille Day."

7. I have had big crushes on Joaquin Phoenix and Russell Crowe. 

8. I have really bad calluses on my feet that I used to chew off as a kid (and sometimes still do)

9. I have really long toes.  Really long.  I can pinch like crazy with them and 

     clean my room using only my toes if I choose to.

10. I married a hottie who I sometimes call my "wife" since he's so domestic.

11.  I got married in Vegas but not on the strip like most.  In the LDS temple.

12.   I weighed 83 lbs. when I was junior in high school.  Not a pretty sight.

13. English roses, peonies and lavender are my favorite flowers.

14.  Gladiator is one of my top three movies.  I love the layers of meaning.

15. I will always prefer a drama to a comedy.

16. My proudest grade ever was getting one of two "A's" in B. Heiner's Acting Class

at BYU.

17. I really hate it when people move away. So few people stay put these days. I'd welcome

a moving van in the Dell Aqua's driveway, however.

18. I am very close to all of my sisters and brothers.

19. I love the sound of the vacuum and the blow dryer. I would sleep to them if I could.

20. I have Reynaulds Syndrome which means bad circulation in my fingers. They 

turn pure white when I'm too cold. I'm told they could fall off if they stay white too long.

21. I love fires in the house and out and especially singing around a campfire.

22. I'm a pretty decent rock climber when I'm practicing.

23. I never played a team sport in school. 

24. I made first cuts to Les Miserables in Washington DC. (great story but 

very depressing for me)

25. I have been asked "Girl, whatchoo mixed with?" at least 20 times.

26. I have over 200 letters from Nick he sent from his church mission in 

Holland (he loved me)

27. I am a very loyal friend, but stink at keeping in touch long distance.

28. I hate gum popping, ice crunching, popcorn chomping and sloppy mouth noises 

in general.

29. I live within one mile of five of my best college friends.

30. I have been kissed on the lips my Englebert Humperdink.

31. My sister Jill has always been my "Ed McMahon" and I love her for it.

32. I love to be tan, but have wised up a lot over the years.

33. I had braces my Senior year in high school.

34. I majored in Secondary Education in English taught for two years before kids.

35. I live near DC but have little idea of what goes on politically.

36. I think the news is too depressing to watch and probably only see it once a year at 

my parents house.

37. I love uplifting, spiritual church meetings.

38. I am almost never suprised; I fake being surprised when people have tried really hard.

39. I have a very good sixth sense.

40. I love broadway musicals and would do anything to be in one but I don't sing 

well enough.

41. Les Miserables is the book that made the biggest impact on me as a teenager.

42. I taught early morning seminary at 6 am my entire fourth pregnancy.

43. My legs and pits are almost always stubbly.

44. I got my curls from my dad who got them from his mother.

45. Depeche Mode is my all time favorite band.

46. I miss my grandparents houses in Springville and the one on Torrey Pines.

47. I am a Cancer--I oppose change.

48. I am exactly half blue-half red in the color code book.

49. I constantly think about homeschooling one or more of my kids.

50. I have been to Mexico, England, Italy, Canada, and Spain. France is next I hope.

51. I am bossy with my husband but he likes it.

52. I will never get implants--though I'd secretly like to.

53. I am scared to death of crickets. Other bugs/spiders don't alarm me.

54. I am often sad about places and times I can never go back to.

55. I have a great mother in law.

56. I hate to lose an argument.

57. I give lots of compliments and am sincere in giving them.

58. I am not much of a crier.

59. I love the four seasons and look forward to each one before they come.

60. I have two boys and two girls, but I wish I had six kids.

61. I am horrible at directions. More than horrible. Every time I leave the hotel 

room I go the wrong way. I am directionally disabled for sure. I can't read a map at all.

62. I have a dog named Lucky who has really grown on me.

63. I have a neighbor family who hates me, even though they know they 

shouldn't, I believe.

64. I struggle with swearing.

65. I am pretty funny if I'm with the right people.

66. I am good at impersonations and faking accents.

67. I used to be a very, very good prank caller.

68. I had the best college years of anyone I know.

69. I wish I could sew better.

70. I am always wishing I would discover I'm gifted at something.

71. My 10 year old will soon pass me up on the piano.

72. I missed 32 days of school in the 5th grade. I had lots of anxieties and an 

angel mother who helped me get normal and stay normal.

73. I am a friend to many. I love my friends past and present and think about them 

often. I am still in contact with my first best friend who I met when I was two.

74. I consider myself to be pretty outdoorsy, but Nick's brothers would 

probably laugh at that.

75. I love to buy clothes and have new clothes in my closet at all times.

76. I wish I would ever dare to take a risk with my hair. I have always wanted a bob.

77. I would love to skydive and bungee jump but will probably never have the 

guts to do either.

78. I enjoy teenagers and love being around them. I prefer teaching them over 

toddlers any day.

79. I LOVE water. I barely drink anything besides it.

80. I love ethnic food. I rarely care to eat in most food chain restaurants.

81. I prefer salty over sweet..usually.

82. I would love to write a children's book but fear I am too lazy to actually 

do it and scared of being rejected.

83. I wish I would have minored in interior design. I would love to decorate homes. 

84. I am already really sad about my kids growing up.

85. My life would be perfect if all my family were near.

86. I would adopt a baby from another country if it was easy and cheaper.

87. I love that my kids are growing up with outdoor experiences. I never knew 

what a summer camp was--except for on Parent Trap.

88. If I could do one year over again it would be from June 1988 to June 1989.

89. I know that most of the happiness in my life is due to my religion.

90. I love living near DC and so many historical places. I wish I visited them 

more often.

91. My first car when I was married was a Le Car that Nick's brother gave us and we loved it.

92. I love music but cannot stand it on when kids are crying in the car. (note to Nick)

93. I think I am really persuasive and figure I can usually talk people into doing what 

I think they should do. It must be an oldest child thing.

94. I am perfectly content in a very slow movie if I think it's meaningful and real.

95. I love to fall asleep with ear plugs in my ears, but I never do it at home.

96. I am a worrier but have gotten a lot better over the years.

97. I have loved talking on the phone my whole life. One of my best Christmas 

presents as a teenager was my own phone line. I used to keep Jill up, mad at me, 

till the wee hours of morning.

98. The best sleep I've ever had was in the hospital after having Nicholas. They gave 

me two percocets and I was in and out of sleep delirium for two days.  

I've never felt better.

99. I am a very impulsive shopper and spend money like I am rich. Subliminally,

I must know my limits because I am never in debt.

100. I have an aversion to certain words (hard to explain but "munch and munchies" 

are two).  I also hate words spelled wrong on purpose (girlz, krispy kreme, tastee) 

and...messing around with the traditional spelling of a person's name.

What did I miss?