Wednesday, August 12, 2015

unplanned, accidental 
(an allegory on abortion)

Someday, when Nick has fallen from a rock and is three months in a coma, I will pay someone to kill him.

That’s right.  The clean, white sheets will part and his beating heart will be stabbed into stillness. 

Once dead, I will move forward knowing that I am better off.  That he is better off—that new life devoid of purpose. 

Without his voice, his ideas, his physical participation, our relationship is meaningless.  

When we got married, I wanted something I could count on.  I wanted order.   
We made plans and those plans changed when he fell.   

We were going to raise our children, buy a boat and spend our winters sailing the Caribbean.  We were taking a year off to travel the world. 

When he fell silent, that tormenting beep on the monitor his only sign of life, it suddenly seemed so simple. He’d be gone and I could carry on.  

If Nick could only see it through my eyes, I’m sure he’d understand.  He’d probably do the same if the shoe were on the other foot.

He’d know I never meant to drop him: I could’ve sworn that knot was tight. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Today's the Day

The day I start catching up on my drafts from 2012.  I'm currently writing the idiots guide on how to conduct a blog, but golly, it works for me!  I find it to be a great exercise of the mind--staring at a picture and doing my gosh darnedest to remember one thing about the event or day.  But just look at me in front of that fire.  I can honestly say this kind of morning is right up there with summer at the beach though it feels almost blasphemous to say so. The sky is white, the fire red, and my head is so in the game.  Plus, Mitchell got a beanbag for Christmas so I finally got my writing spot right where I want it.  Oh, and it's my 21st anniversary on being married.  Congrats Nick!  You're a lucky, lucky man.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Summer Snippets

"Betcha we can catch a bird." (well I'll be!) 

"I just love coming to the sea."  CB

Who's paying for this?

"Let's make these and get sued!" check

"I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

Castaway and the one armed surfer who apparently grew her arm back?

"I'm a big kid now!" Think Toys R Us jingle

Parowan Babes

Ma Ingalls strikes again


Eight is great!

Because.. DARLING

Aunt Jen finds a kitty!

Birthday shoes and bright toes. Get your feet off the bed!

Beat it, it's girls's night!

Dirty Dinner: 17 courses and 1/4 full

Goodnight giggles at Mc Ducks. (filling up the 3/4!)

Friday, August 30, 2013

Happiness, gratitude and love

look something like this.  
The end.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Sunny Celebrations!

Happy Birthday to my babies! Cake, cousins, presents and a pool --doesn't get better than that! Stay little you precious little people.  

Thursday, August 15, 2013

 Birthday Crush

Me: Nicholas, you better marry a girl who appreciates your humor.
Him:  I'm sorry, that girl is already taken.... by my father. (wink)

It's no secret that I have a mad crush on my first-born.  He has been my loyal fan since day one and I love that we make each other laugh on the daily.  He has razor sharp wit and is the comeback kid with his clever quips.  Not saying he'll be doing stand-up anytime soon because there's not much he hates more than the spotlight.  I look at these pictures below and chuckle because as he was highlighted, roasted, praised and mentored by friends and family, I could see his smile was plastered on as his eyes communicated, "WHEN will this end, Mother?!"  He's a good sport and would rather take a bullet than rock the boat or cause contention--couldn't ask for more from a #1.  He has set a precedence for peace in our home and there is rarely a fight or tension among the sibs, largely due to his calm nature.  Happy 16th to my darling pal.  You were born my bright-eyed boy with your fist all the way in your mouth; just look at the size of that smile!  You are loved, NJM.