Jennifro

CAMPER vs. WILD

family edition

This is when I really get mad at myself for procrastinating. This ambitious little outing spawned so many funny moments but I'll NEVER be able to remember them all--if any. Plus, you probably had to be there to really appreciate the hilarity-- but still.

Fourth of July weekend we loaded up. We got to Riley's Lock and Jill, Rob and Catherine + lotsa kids confessed they didn't bring anything to sleep with and weren't spending the night. I'd have none of that and after convincing them just how much their kids would miss out, went back with Jill to round up blankets from my basement and hers. John, Kelley and kids came-- as well as Eric, ALONE, with his four boys (good man!).

Camille towed behind our canoe

Here floats Cleopatra a-top her barge

Land ahoy!

no turnovers this trip

cowabunga!

pg, swimsuit and tennis shoes a "sexy look!" and yet

"totally secure!"

For about four years now, I've gone to YW girls camp and done an over-the-top cooking class with the girls. I usually show them how to make 8 or 9 simple to fancy dishes over the fire using all different kinds of cooking techniques. This year I decided I should do that with my own kids which is why we went camping in the first place. By the time we actually got to dinner, the LAST thing I wanted was help or kid participation! The class pretty much went out the window but they loved making pizza pockets and our desserts were fabuloso!

black forest chocolate cake

brown sugar bananas and pound cake

Jek had been texting me back and forth throughout the evening--she was so afraid she was missing out since she had company in town. Finally, about seven, I said "Want Nick to come get you?" So he did! He and Johnny paddled back loaded up Jek and Alexis in her pj's and they joined us at the fire.

Jek spraying herself down wondering why all the hype

Catherine said the only thing she was scared of was raccoons. Minutes before this picture, Nicholas shined his flashlight to the side of her tent and sure enough, a raccoon was gnawing on a greasy bone or something. You've never seen people scramble faster to clean up! The place was a dump!

Jill's foreboding expression--an unsettling prediction of the night to come.

I don't think I have EVER, I mean EVER had a worse night outside in my LIFE! And I've been on a lot of camping trips. First of all, John gave me some sleeping spray (about 13 spritzes) which tricked me into thinking things were crawling up and down my skin all night long and wired my brain! My sleeping bag was made for the arctic so I was sweating my guts out and Johnny took every last deluxe pad so I was on the hard-A ground miserable out of my mind. On top of that, I realized Camille didn't have a pull-up on, so rather than get peed on, I figured I better wake her. So after she'd been asleep for two hours, I roused her and held her outside the tent door to piddle-- and piddle she did all over my foot and hers (shake, shake!) while she bawled her head off from delirium. Round about this time, poor Finn wakes up screaming cause he busted his lip bloody before bed and couldn't suck his binky right. That went on for a good 30 minutes and I'm lying in my tent thinking that Eric's gonna blow any minute and should someone intervene? Eventually he unzipped and went for water and that helped--since Finn gave in about 15 minutes later. About that time Nicholas appeared at my net. He'd been sleeping face-in-the-dirt, by the fire. "I'm getting attacked! They're in my bag!" "You're not coming in here!" I spit back, but he let himself in anyway (along with 40,000 mosquitoes) and proceeded to lay on my legs.

Camille never really did fall asleep again and thrashed and cried out the remainder of the night. Round about four I was so seething with anger and frustration that I was smooshed, sweating, itching and freaking from John's dope, AND hadn't been to sleep yet--that I figured I might as well get on FB. Good old FB on my phone. Next thing I knew I was asleep-- then awake again--with my right side submerged inch-deep in Camille's pee. The classic part is that I sincerely thought I could rough it on this trip. Like I said, no pull ups. Nor undies or change of clothes. So the fact that Camille had tainted her suit, and had to spend the morning in Nick's jacket (mortified and miserable) till she dried up--made me feel low. REAL LOW.

how'd you sleep girls?

you look BEAUTIFUL!

WHERE's yo Mama!?

Things are never as bleak in the morning,

as they seem the night before!

Nick develops a lisp

worse for the wear but hangin' on

why'd I come again?

light at the end of the ...

mudhole!

what a champ!

the driver on the bus says...

(i need a coke)

"How'd you sleep, Mitchell, under the tarp with Daddy?

Tewwible! A raccoon cwawled on my face all night!"

THE END