Thursday, October 20, 2011

Come Full Circle
Long ago I remember Grandma Miller telling me the story about when she woke up in the morning to find her wedding ring missing from her finger. Try as she might, she could never find it. She knew it had been on her finger the night before and after searching and searching and searching she figured she must have swallowed it, "cause I didn't really like it; the diamond was just so small" she told me. I remember when she finally got the diamond she dreamed of, maybe 50 years later, and it looked just like mine, a pretty solitaire on a thin gold band. I was happy for her and it made me like my own ring even more since we shared this in common. But a woman is a fickle thing, and over the years I grew tired of my ring thinking that it was ordinary and boring and just the same as my mother's and grandmother's after all. So two years ago, feeling rather entitled, I bought myself a new set and tossed the real ones in the jewelry box alongside the JC Penney junk. Every now and then when I'd rummage through for a bracelet, I'd think, "I really ought to put those somewhere safe." The way that I casually discarded them makes me quite sad now that I think about it. Like the time Dad couldn't bear to leave the broken-down Vega in North-side Vegas. He swore that car looked heartbroken as he abandoned her there in the ghetto where she didn't belong, so he went back for her that night. I only wish I had the sensitivity of my father.

So tonight, as I lay sleepless in bed, a drifting thought triggered an alarming stab to my heart. "I don't remember seeing my wedding rings when I organized my jewelry." Immediately, I rose in a panic and sifted through my perfectly ordered drawer and up into the attic stash, and sure enough, they're gone. I've let Camille and her cousins rifle through my treasures countless times to add accessories to their dress-ups, and it never really occurred to me to keep the rings out of their reach. The image of my diamond slipping from a five year olds bouncing fingers and falling to their final resting place beneath the tramp, weighs heavy on my heart like the mud they are likely buried under. I am sad. Deep down sad and filled with regret. In the morning I will wake unencumbered, until I feel the pang of remembrance that something I loved has been swallowed up.

6 comments:

Ann Marie said...

This makes me so sad!!
I must have sensitivity like your Father... because I swear I have thought the same thing many times.

Chad lost his ring the first year we were married. He was ashamed... and didn't tell me. He looked for it for 2 months.. and then went and bought an identical ring to replace it.

I found out about the whole ordeal when the jewler called telling us it was ready. I wasn't too happy that he "sneaked" and did this. It may have been our first big fight. lol! ~ Anyways... guess what? We found the old ring a few months later.. so now he has 2 rings.

You never know.... it may show up.
Do you know anyone with a metal detector? My Dad found lost a piece of jewelry in our grass... and we found it with it!

And you know... of course prayer!!

Hope this heartache doesn't last my friend!

Suzanne said...

Jennifer,

This is so sad! I am a sentimental one and this breaks my heart!

Don't give up!! You will find it!! Just keep looking! I agree with Ann, get a metal detector and us it all over the lawn.

All will be well! All will be well! Miss your guts lady!! Hope you are happy and well during this busy time of year! I am always thinking of you guys this time of year! -Suzanne

Jek said...

That explains a pretty ring I have at my house right now . It is silver with a black opal in the middle. (maybe it's a total fake, i dunno!) Alexis told her Camille gave it to her! I will search her room for the lost diamond! I am a very sensitive soul when it comes to that stuff. I am still so sad, i don't have that big fat silver ring Eric made for mom and dad to give to me for Christmas.

Anonymous said...

I have heard the saga of the lost ring my whole life. I seem to remember something along the line of the baby sitter took it. Gone is gone. Sorry Jennifer. Keep looking. Aunt Nancy

Christian said...

Wow. You are a great writer! This is really sad.

I lost my ring in a really small rapid. I nearly drowned from exhaustion swimming through it over and over again, turning over rocks on the bottom, trying to find it.

Later BB and I went back and she watched me try to do it again. So sad.

Anyway, hope you find it.

Kimmie said...

You truly are the best writer/blogger I have ever read. You have such a way of telling stories, captivating your audience and drawing people in...you truly are SO talented!!

I am SO sentimental, much like your dad!!

My ring story is quite sad...I had purchased a solitaire ring when I had went to Mexico and studied Spanish my Junior year of High School. When Tracy proposed to me, I was thrilled to be getting married to the most wonderful man in the world. When we went to purchase rings, I just told him "let's just use this stone" and just purchase a new setting...so that is what we did, (even though my stone was just a Cubic Zirconia). I felt like I had the prettiest ring in the world and I could care less that it wasn't a real diamond, because in my mind, a fancier ring, or REAL diamond, wouldn't make me any happier. (my original wedding ring still has this stone in it).

I realized real quick after getting married that I was NOT a ring person and I was always taking my ring off to bake, wash dishes, put on lotion, etc... and have gone through 3 different "plain bands", while my special wedding ring stays protected and nestled in a box safely tucked away on high shelf and when I get sentimental and want to take a trip down memory lane, I pull down my box of past treasures and look at them and think of all of the wonderful memories I have associated with them.

I truly hope you can find your ring...it saddens me a lot thinking of your pain...I had that pain once myself....we had only been married 3 months and my ring came up missing...I fretted about it for days, when one day Tracy came home from his college class and got down on one knee, pulled out my ring and proposed to me again....he had me stressed out...I asked him why he did it, he said, he always saw it laying around, since I took it off so much. It all ended well though.

Good Luck!! You'll have to let us know if your story has a happy ending!!

PS...hope you received a surprise in the mail this week...I was worried as I had Tracy mail it since he goes by the Post Office every day and one he mailed it Parcel Post....and two, he said when they were keying in the zip code 20874 it brought up Germantown.

Hope you have a wonderful HALLOWEEN weekend!!