Jennifro

As Quick as a Wink

I don't remember where "as quick as a wink" came from... maybe my mom or Grandma Katie, but I say it to my kids whenever I want something done quickly.  I've also come to associate the phrase with how fast certain things we love dash by-- vacations, summer break, Christmas, college, childhood, time with loved ones.  And we all know that once we hit about 35, and our kids go to school, time stealthily tilts itself downward and moves with relentless speed.  One day I'll print this blog and maybe in some future day my children will read this post, and if they do they will know that if I had my wish, time would stop here. And just to make things warm and fun, we'll be in St. John when it grinds to a halt.

Just the other day Jill and I were discussing my usual complaint of time moving too quickly.  Nicholas is in high school--only four more years, Natalie has grown up over the winter, Mitchell has lost his baby teeth, and Camille is buying wedges.  I hate it.  "But Jennifer, think about it. Would you really have wanted to stay young and live with Mom and Dad forever and never had all your fun experiences and had kids and all that?"  Wheels turning.. digging deep.  "Yes."  And I meant it.  I meant it knowing it was a strange fiction.  No, I guess I wouldn't want to be a kid forever, or stay in college forever or have babies forever, but at the time I would have chosen to stay put, yes I would.  I realize the bottom line for me is:  I have loved every stage of my life.  I owe that last reality to GOD.  So, thank You. So much.  I have the clearest memory of being in about 8th grade, in junior high and thinking, "I could die right now completely satisfied because my life has been so happy and complete." And I meant it.  I've thought that all along the way.  I could die satisfied and blessed, though I don't want to.

Whenever I hear or read the quote, "grow old along with me the best is yet to be" I just get defensive and the internal dialogue starts buzzing.  Oh really, the best is yet to be?  So the idea is that the best, the very best of life lies in what comes next; the prize is found in the future? So, where does it end?  Death?  True happiness lies in being dead?  I don't know.  Maybe so.  Who am I to say?  I just have an issue with that concept since I find it very hard to believe that life just gets better and better. I like to think of it as even.  In my experience the happiness cards have been evenly dealt. I hope my future hand is as good as the past, though I'm looking forward and I don't like what I see. Carnage, really.  That being said, I'm sure I'll enjoy all my wrinkly old lady, people dying, kid-less life experiences to the max. I mean, so far so good.

Anyway, back to the future and my kids reading this post.  Know this:  your mother loves you. She loved you as infants and adores you even still.  And though she pines for the past, she savors the present because these days will pass, as surely as the sun goes down.